5 Things: December

December is the most exciting month (IMHO) to be at Northern Waters Smokehaus. Our mail order department swells with seasonal employees and processes hundreds of boxes each week; the smokers might process several hundred pounds of porketta or atlantic salmon in the same time; the line to our deli might look like a Summer day, if not for the heavy clothing; our deli staff has had a month to catch our breath and are in top form. December is a good month for our business.

Before we begin, a few tips for the busy month:

Skip the line, order delivery/pickup. Delivery and pickup hours are 10am-5pm daily. We deliver sandwiches as well as groceries and gift boxes. You can order online or over the phone, but online is easiest.Place your mail orders early. This ensures that we have what you want in stock. In the late Fall, we incentivize early orders. Basically, as with most things, it is better to plan ahead.

Now, five more things for you.

1. Catalog Launch Party! We finally did it! We assembled a highly-skilled team and created our first official product catalog, which some have called “beautiful” and others have remarked “looks like it was made by professionals,” which only stings a little bit, because we are so dang proud of ourselves. The catalog contains lovely descriptions of a large swath of the products we carry, charming anecdotes about life at Northern Waters Smokehaus, insights into the guiding principles and philosophy of our business, and abundant visual splendors. Oh, and prices. Sure, it’s a product catalog, but it is also something more than that, and we really hope you enjoy it. If you want to pick up or peruse one, stop into our deli and ask us.In honor of the catalog’s release, we put together a small gathering in our office on Wednesday night. I missed the first hour, but hear it was shoulder to shoulder. By the end it was almost entirely Smokehaus employees, just lingering and enjoying an opportunity to hang out off-the-clock and eat packing peanuts. This week, I learned that the packing peanuts we use for mail orders are basically popcorn.
2. Waterdeep! Well, we’ve done it. Dino-Force Five has saved Faerûn from the terror of the giants and gone it’s separate ways. I wasn’t sure if our weekly D&D sessions merited another Thing™, but the end of one campaign and the beginning of another feels noteworthy enough, and our group has added on two new members. The new cast of characters is an ex-cop half-orc barbarian with anger issues, a rock gnome rogue and a wood-elf druid who have been BFFs for about a hundred years and who specialize in cultivating, refining and distributing herbal *ahem* medicine throughout the city, an eladrin wizard who is a friendly rival to the druid, and mysterious and gregarious tiefling bard who aims to please but seems to have a hidden agenda all residing in the coastal city of Waterdeep,. The scenario seems to be leading toward a heist, but for now I am suspending all assumptions. We meet most Monday nights in the Smokehaus office, though realistically we're going to have to relocate while the mail order department utilizes that space.
3. Terrine! Smoked duck breast terrines will be available in our grab&go case this weekend. A terrine is a layered preparation of meat/vegetable/fruit/et cetera contained within aspic or another gelatinous solution. Our smoked duck terrines are set with duck confit, red wine cranberry jam (with hints of anise, clove and black pepper) and sliced candied orange as a garnish, set with agar-agar. The flavor is reminiscent of a holiday meal. Serve alongside dry red wine, a very soft cheese (like Rush Creek Reserve) and a nice crusty bread or cracker.
4. Winter Village! This weekend, we’ll be at the Glensheen Winter Village, selling salumi, cheese, and cracker bento boxes, salumi, swag (t-shirts, posters, stickers, and such), and gift certificates. The Winter Village is a magical event, and one of three of its ilk going on in the area, alongside the Julebyen in Knife River and the Washington Artists’ Co-op craft sale. I am told there will also be llamas and a sauna on the premises at Glensheen. We’ll be running a gift certificate special in the month of December: buy $100 worth of gift cards, and get a bonus $20 gift card. Once, I helped a customer purchase $900 of gift cards, and receive $180 in bonus gift cards. It felt epic.Also in December: If you have purchased one of our tote bags, bring it with when you come to our shop in December and receive 10% off your order, all month long. If you don’t have a tote already, purchase one and receive 10% off your order. We’ll be running tote specials in the future.
5. Record-breaking Pigs In Space!!! We had a successful Cyber Monday here at Northern Waters Smokehaus. Our second annual Pigs In Space promotion left us with 75 new orders to fill. Pigs in Space, for those who just walked into the room, is our promotion run every Monday-after-the-fourth-Thursday-in-November which offers free shipping on online orders over $150.

That's all, folks. Happy Friday.

5 Things: Extra Concise Edition

I hope all of you had a great time being thankful and eating turkey. I just got over a day-long bout of stomach flu that precluded me from such festivities, and I am still quite disoriented, but the work we're doing here is important, so I must go on.

Alright. Here we go. Five things—

Smokehaus smear campaign! The election season is over, but our smear campaign continues. Through November, any delivery or pickup order of $100 or more comes with a free Spread the Love platter (boursin cheese or salmon pâté).

We shipped out 85 orders on Monday! That’s a lot of boxes, especially this early in the mail order season. We sent out a lot of holiday hams.

Final days of our MN Early Bird Special! Ends this Sunday, November 25th, at 11:59:59 PM. 15% off orders to be shipped within Minnesota. This special applies to orders placed before this date. Shipping date is still up to you.

Cyber Monday: Pigs in Space! Just as our early bird special ends, our Cyber Monday special begins. Pigs in Space begins at 12am on Monday, November 26th and ends at 11:59:59pm — Free shipping for online orders of $150 or more. One day only; online orders only.

I need a fifth thing! This tower of boxes is a thing.This is the first time my readability assessment has been "Good," so perhaps groggy, reserved Ned is onto something.

Until we meet again.

10 things To Keep In Mind This Holiday Season

Mail Order Season has officially begun –for us that means our volume of shipments goes through the roof and this year we’re sending more boxes than ever. A team of about 2 turns into a team of about 10. A once quiet office turns into a loud machine of box making, choice 90s tunes, taping boxes, carefully hand-packing boxes, labeling boxes, and waving at the Fedex/ UPS guy as he takes our boxes into the world. Boxes are crammed in every available place – and we’re restocking hundreds daily. We’re doing everything we can to bring our deli to your doorstep, but there are some things for you to consider during this holiday season.

#1. Meats typically ship frozen. When ordering the larger meats, like 7 pound Hams and 4 pound Porkettas, think about the timing of your event. You may need an extra day or two for the meat to thaw before you can lovingly prepare it for your guests.

#2. We do everything we can to get your order to you as quickly as possible, but weather and Fedex/ UPS operational issues are out of our control. Typically, you can receive orders from us pretty quickly. For orders placed by noon Sunday-Tuesday, we ship your order the next day (if product is in stock). For those in Minnesota, we also ship on Thursdays. Food is shipped FedEx 2-day, UPS 2-day or FedEx Ground, UPS Ground so that it arrives cold on your doorstep. From time to time, Mother Nature gets in the way of the 2-day shipping timeline. And every so often FedEx / UPS experiences technical issues or trucks break down. It’s so unfortunate when this happens, but we’ll be in touch with you, and happily replace an order if it arrives warm, or extend some other nicety depending on your situation. We’re here to help.

#3. Sustainability is very important to us. We understand that shipping our products across the US has a negative impact on the environment. We’re doing our part to help, and we hope you will too. Your cardboard box with our logo on it is recyclable – just make sure to take the packing tape off and dispose of it. All of our boxes are packed with a “Jean Jacket” liner. They’re soft and squishy, and biodegradable! They can be thrown out or you can take the polyfilm off the liner and compost the blue denim fibers inside. As for the ice packs, please reuse if possible. Use them in your lunch box, on a picnic, or keep in your freezer for just the right occasion. If you need to dispose, their contents are 100% water soluble.

#4. Give us a call when needed. We’re not robots here. We like to think we’re pretty helpful actually. If you have a question regarding an order, just give us a ring. If you’ve got a question about where your package is, also give us ring, we can easily track your package.

#5. Ordering online is the way to go when possible. Our website ordering process is very smooth. And we’re always looking for ways to add new things to the experience. When you order online, you’re more likely to get coupons emailed to you as well! 15% next order? Yes, please!

#6. Use and care of our products is now included in the yellow slip that comes in your box. If you haven’t noticed that bright yellow slip, check it out! Use and care for our products is as follows:

• Smoked Fish – Fully cooked and ready to eat. Enjoy or freeze within 3 weeks of date on package.

• Smoked Meats – Fully cooked and ready to eat. Enjoy or freeze within 1 week of receiving.

• Salumi – Shelf-stable. Best kept in butcher paper, in your cupboard. Discard or eat rind, slice as needed and enjoy within 1 month.

• Raw Sausages – Not cooked. Cook as desired, ensuring internal temperature reaches 155 degrees. Use or freeze within 1-2 days.

#7. All of our food is hand-made. We are not a factory. We are a small shop. We hand-make all of our products in small batches. The path of the product from raw meat to fully smoked to being packaged up for nationwide shipping is quite a process. We take pride in this process, and we put love and creativity into every step of it.

#8. Many people love to send our food as gifts during the holidays, but don’t send it as surprise! Since the food must remain cold, it’s good to let the recipient know it’s coming. They’ll want to grab that box as soon as it comes and move the food to their refrigerator. It’s also good to point out here, that we don’t require a signature for delivery. It’s important that the food be dropped off and received as soon as possible after drop off. If we required signatures, it’s more likely the transit time could be extended beyond 2-days, and more likely the food would become spoiled.

#9. We vacuum seal most of our smoked fish and meats. We do this for many reasons. It’s a safe way to transport food for shipping and it looks nice too! If the seal breaks during transport, you mustn’t worry, it’s still safe to eat. Only if the food arrives warm should you throw it out, and call us right away.

#10. Check out some of the newly added items in our Mail Order department! We are now selling the a 3 pound Porketta and Smoked Berkshire Ham (10#) . We also kept our wildly popular Cajun Finn Kit and Northern Bagel Kit. Think of these as the perfect addition to a special occasion, or the creative alternative to a birthday cake! We’ve got our merchandise ready to ship. Whether it’s a Cajun Finn Tee, Northern Waters Smokehaus Magnet or a Classic Rick Allen Tee; we’ve got you covered. Find these in the “Gifts” section of our website.

Ok, that’s it for now lovely people – those boxes don’t pack themselves! Place those holiday orders soon, and remember we’re always here to help.

5 Things

Today I feel as though a veil has been lifted from my eyes. As I wandered the three levels of NWS HQ, observing and probing my co-workers with questions about the tasks at their hands, I realized that the small company I began working for nearly five years ago, and the small spaces I have haunted for the same amount of time are expansive and dynamic and chaotic enough that they can still surprise me. Today, I’d like to talk about my impressions and interactions while floating about pestering my co-workers, then hit you with some good ol’ advertisement. Let’s go floor by floor:

1. 3rd floor: I entered the office and immediately saw two new faces hard at work. I haven’t even caught their names yet, they were so embroiled in their work, digging out items from the deep freeze, vacuum-sealing chunks of salmon, and taping shut fully packed boxes. The mail order department processed 87 orders this week alone, and they are still just at the foot of the mountain that is our holiday mail order season.The surroundings toe the line of order and chaos. Zip-tied bundles of flattened boxes are piled high in canted and zigzagging stacks top a labyrinthine arrangement of shelves. The wall of product label sticker spools is functional, if disorganized. This week, twenty pallets of recycled denim box-liners were delivered to DeWitt-Seitz and our off-site storage area. 4ish- by 3ish- by 6ish-foot boxes of them are stacked in the office, and various corners of the floor. We have even requisitioned a room down a winding path of hallways that I had not travelled before I began researching this week’s blog to stack our boxes and liners, which is filled to the ceiling/skylight. This is not my first Winter here. I know what to expect. It still struggle to imagine the extent of the activity that will occur in this small office suite over the next month-point-five.
2. 1st floor: Upon entering the deli, I was asked to join a mini-band. Unsure exactly what that entailed, I withheld my decision and awaited their explanation. A mini-band, it turns out, is a band of individuals of any size which specializes in small instruments: mandolin, “tiny drums,” jaw harp, ukulele, kazoo etc. I was recruited as the hypothetical toy piano specialist. We probably would have had a song written within minutes had a line of customers not appeared. The future of the band is unclear, but it feels good to be exposed to these sorts of ideas on a regular basis.
3. Loading dock: Pine bough is easily one of the best scents in the entirety of olfactory stimulus, and this week is the transition time into Winter decorations at DeWitt-Seitz Marketplace, so walking through the loading dock behind our shop (a roughly one-hundred times a day occurrence) has gone from mundane task to repeated entanglement with the Sublime. Right outside of our backdoor there is a stack of wreaths. I hope they hold off on hanging those wreaths a few days longer at least, because I don’t want to be the weird guy sniffing them once they have been hung.
4. Basement: When I made it down to the basement, the production team was setting up to handle a massive volume of cabbage. In less than two hours, they told me, they’d have begun the pickling of 150 lbs of sauerkraut. Three of them divided up into one cleaner and two cutters.In my assumed mode of fascination, I asked, “what do cutters do?”“They cut,” was the curt response. “Would you like to know what the cleaners do,” they followed up.I bit.“They cut too.”After a good laugh at my foolishness, I learned that before the cabbage is cut, salted and left to pickle, the heads are thoroughly cleaned so that there are no contaminants in the mix or on the cutting boards. Sauerkraut pickles for a month before it hits our shelves and sandwich line. Our kimchi ferments for a week before we package it.Also in the basement, I found the mop closet still under construction, and snapped a photo.There are many lessons to be learned in the smokehouse proper, as the folks working down there have countless hours of hands-on experience creating the amazing food we sell.I also found a few purple tomatoes among the heirlooms. Purple is my favorite color, so this pleased me.
5. Good ol’ advertisin’: There is a new mail order porketta option available this season. Previously, our porketta was available online in whole 4 lbs increments. Now it is available in 3 and 4 lbs increments. This is great for those who are shopping with a budget, or simply don’t have quite as many mouths to feed. Our porketta has been featured in Bon Appetit magazine and has been featured on many of my daily sandwich creations lately. It is simple to work with but highly versatile, made with the highest quality berkshire pork, seasoned to perfection and slow-roasted in the smoker.For a very limited time, we have smoked ciscos in stock. If you've been craving them, stop in this weekend, because they go fast.One final note before you go: Monday, November 19th is the last day of our mail-order turkey special. Any purchase of a whole turkey breast made by Monday will come with a free 8oz tub of crayo.

Catch you next week, Thingerinos.